Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Series: Day 5 – Previous Posts: Introduction to Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Series – The Excitement and Frustration of Being “Alone” – Actual Love – Being Surrounded by Something You’ve Never Quite Understood – On Writing Aromantic Characters in YA
Hi! I saw GayYA’s post on Tumblr about people from the arospec sharing our stories and I thought: “Hey, Alison, you’re aromantic. You might as well.” So, yeah. Here I am.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alison; I’m a 15 year old cisgendered female. I live in Yorkshire, England, and I’ve found a label to suit me. That is Aromantic.
Aromanticism is a big part of my life; I’ve only recently made the discovery that it genuinely exists.
When I was younger (and I mean 8 or 9 ish), I’d think that there was something wrong with me. I’d imagine that if I would only develop romantic feelings for a person, then I’d know I’m okay. I would think that maybe I’m waiting for that “one special person” and then I would fall in love and so on.
I didn’t know this was happening until I was about 11 years old. I knew then that this wouldn’t happen. So, I jumped to the conclusion that there was something wrong. That it would be a mental illness or something. It was hard to accept that this was the only way for me and my future. This lead to self-harm and self-esteem issues that I’m slowly taming but are still apparent. I’ve been having issues with self-harm for 4 years now. I know that it’s probably selfish of me and there are real problems in the world, but it hit close to home. All I’ve been fed my entire life, along with most people, is that even if things are bad right now, you’ll meet that one special person and everything will be okay.
I discovered the existence of aromanticism from Tumblr, actually. There was an awareness post that had sneaked its way between the crevices of crap and hordes of fandoms. It boasted its diversity for including other terms. I read into the topic of being aromantic more and realised that, while feeling sexual attraction is a thing for me, romantic wasn’t. It was such an amazing experience, discovering that not only people can feel the same as I do, that there is a term for what I am feeling. It was elating to know that I’m still valid, despite not feeling romantically attracted to anyone. All I’ve seen is the importance of romantic love and the effects it can have on your life, but never an appreciation of how much platonic love or friendships actually help you grow and be as a person.
Find Alison on Tumblr at alisonone.